Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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