if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
