You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
