who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
