Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
