This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
