please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
