We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
