We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
