you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
