last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
Randomize
