Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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