I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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