so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
