Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize
