I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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