And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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