no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
