I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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