are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
