so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I got inside last night via doggy door
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
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