Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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