No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
