Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
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