So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
