how do flat chested girls get laid?
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
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