I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
