Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
