Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
The air taste purple.
Randomize
