I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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