You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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