it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I think i got beer on your cat.
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