talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
Randomize
