Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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