tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize