love makes seman taste better
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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