Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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