all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Liz is crying about burritos again.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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