Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
When are your genitals available?
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
