I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
