oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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