I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
