Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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