Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
