hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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