i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
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