I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
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