I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
