I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
