how can u be prego again
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
