My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
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