Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
