So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
