I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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