So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Randomize
