She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
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