Dual....:-)
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
